Tuesday, 9 May 2017

Counting your friends, friends you can count on...

They say that if you can count your number of friends on one hand you are incredibly blessed. The sad reality is that friendships do dwindle as you grow older as interests and life experiences change.

As a business owner, the friendship lifeline is even more precious albeit incredibly more fragile and fragmented. Friends, especially those who do not run their own business, unfortunately really don't 'get it'.  I suppose it is exactly the same as people with children. I agree, I don't 'get it', and when I go grocery shopping and there are children running, screaming and nagging down the aisles,  I don't find it cute or adorable, I can't get to the cashier quick enough to get home to the quiet sanctity of home.

There is a mutual annoyance between friends that are business owners and those that are parents, yes there are those that can juggle both, big respect for them, however one area will always be more dominant. [And thanks to Sheryl Sandberg's 'Lean In', it is OK to be driven, and not to be brilliant at both]. 

Non-business owners will always think that those who run their own company's have a lot of time on their hands, and no one could be as busy as them as parents. Something a person at my running club made quite clear some time ago that no one could be as busy as her juggling children and work; I get it.

It is sad when we start losing interest in each other's lives, I agree that business owners do get quite obsessed with work and can speak about very little else as it is something that they are focussed on 24/7; ditto for parents on the topic of any aspect of their child's life. Someone said to me once, owning your own business is very similar to having a child, it 's a lot of hard work, very fulfilling; given the chance to do it again, you would consider it very carefully and differently, if at all.

It is about mutual respect; it is a two-way street. A friend from school always used to say "my phone actually also receives phone calls," I can only reach out so many times before feeling totally stalker-esque; truth be told if I'm the only one texting / WhatsApping / calling, with no reciprocity, I get the hint and message loud and clearly.

The other day I received an email from a business connection that I have huge regard for:

"As you know they say if you are cleverest person in your group, its time to find yourself another successful group to be apart of. 


I found that I worked my way up and had out grown a lot of the people that I mixed with on a daily basis. So I decided to form a new group and what I did is I researched and found women who are top in their field in South Africa and we formed a Mastermind group..."

There are a lot of dynamic businesswomen out there looking for a 'safe haven' of like-minded individuals. Here's to exciting new connections. 

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