Not my zoo, not my monkeys

A while back I heard the wonderful expression, “not my zoo, not my monkeys” for the first time. Isn’t it interesting what phrases or experiences it takes to get the penny to drop and for lessons to be learnt? Realising that I need to manage my own ‘zoo’ first before worrying about other people’s, was a big liberating moment.

So, now if a challenge or problem that I am asked to solve or be a part of does not have a direct bearing on the smooth operation of my own ‘zoo’ then it is OK to say no, or see how best to delegate it. Taking on too much and being overstretched is not beneficial to anyone.

What made me think about this phrase again this week, was a conversation I recently had with someone I had not heard from in years.

It’s the “friends” [air quotes intended] who could not be bothered to keep you in the loop with things (usually big things that you get to know about via Facebook) happening in their lives and who  generally don't return your calls or correspondence. They are the ones who then phone you up and after the pleasantries of how you are, what you’ve been up to it comes down to the crux of the call, they want something from you. You are only important enough for them to contact you when they need a favour. It irks me into another realm of irritation, when someone phones out of the blue purely for a favour. In the past, I would drop everything and focus all my energy to try and solve their problem and bend over backwards to make sure that they are accommodated; in the interim, losing focus on my own priorities, and ‘zoo’.

Staying in contact is a two way street. A high school friend had a wonderful way of describing things; she’d say that her phone actually also has the ability to receive calls. Keeping contact does not mean hours on the phone, or elaborate long folios of weekly emails detailing every part of your life, nor is sharing information on Facebook. A quick phone call, or even a personalised text message to say “hi” means a lot.

I am still guilty of saying “yes” too quickly and committing myself to things too easily, I am however focussing more on my own turf first by reminding myself ever so often, “not my zoo, not my monkeys.”

Book: Motivating People, Sue Stockdale and Clive Steeper

 

This book focuses on a different area of motivation, each day of the week is a different chapter. If you start the book on a Sunday, you will finish it by the following Saturday.

 

The first and foremost lesson is than you need to motivate yourself before you can motivate anyone else. I like Eisenhower's definition of motivation:

For the first time ever, companies need to learn how to deal with four generations in one organisation.

This is something which is important to keep in mind when it comes to motivation as each has different drivers that are important to them. There is a very useful table on page 22 illustrating the characteristics of each generation.

 

The book explains the difference between appreciation and recognition (page 29) and motivation versus inspiration - The Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary that they quote (page 33) explains it quite well.

There is also a day that focuses on 'How to deal with difficult people', Rewards & Recognition' and

Action Centred Leadership (page 46), which is illustrated as:

 

Book:The Fine Art of Small Talk, Debra Fine

Networking has never really been high on my enjoyment list; necessary and essential to building contacts in the business world, but something that I have always avoided as far as possible. That was until I decided to face my fears head on and got some pointers from those that make it look effortless.  One of my points of reference was Debra Fine's 'The Art of Small Talk'. Networking and small talk is not rocket science, pretty much common sense, but it does help to have a couple of tricks to make the process a lot less daunting. This is an easy read, and can be downloaded from the Internet. One of the first things the book does is focus on how to start a conversation and remembering and using someone's name. I think we've all been in a situation where you can't remember someone's name. Debra advises that instead of an embarrassing situation, or waiting for divine inspiration to try and remember the person's name, it is OK, to be proactive and admit to the person that you've forgotten their name. What I like about the book is that it gives tips and suggestions of talking points and how to jump start conversations, keeping the conversation going and even how to make graceful exits. 

As Debra says, "The cardinal rule of the exit is that you when you depart, you do what you said you were going to do. If you said good-bye to Joanne by telling her that you were going to see the exhibitions, go do it. If you allow yourself to get sidetracked en route to your new destination, you run the risk of insulting your former partner." This happened to me once before, and I felt incredibly guilty; we had said our good byes and were ready to leave (as we had indicated), but then got side tracked by an amazing dessert buffet. Needless to say lesson learnt.

Something else that Debra suggests is to use small talk as a picture frame around business conversations. Begin and end with small talk when making a presentation to a client, negotiating, providing a service etc. Some other tips is to greet people warmly, make eye contact; use the person's name in conversation, show an interest in others, dig deeper, be a good listener and stop being an adviser. 

Some of the other tips that I have picked up from attending sessions about networking and how to maximise them:

1. Have a goal in mind of what you want to achieve before the time, i.e. what do you want to achieve from the networking session e.g. make two solid connections.

2. It's obviously good to have business cards on hand, but learn to become a business card collector, in that way you have control over making sure that future interactions happen. If you just give your card away, then you have no way of following up with that person.

3. When it comes to business cards, look at the person's business card, don't just take it and stick it into a pocket. Actually look at the card and comment on the person's name / location or something about the card.

4. Make a note on the business card of where you met  the person and some interesting facts about the person; I have a ton of business cards, and it definitely helps to keep track of who I met where.

5. The point of networking is to build relationships, so send a short email after the networking session to the connections that you made.

Click here for a copy of the book

Book: Business in Africa. Corporate Insights, Dianna Games

"Africa is not really 'poor' as many portray it: it is poorly managed, and yet-to-be developed."

A good friend of mine who knows about my vision of wanting to expand to Africa, and who herself is incredibly passionate about Africa, recommended that I read this book. 

During the first couple of chapters I did wonder what I got myself into because it was very economics focused. But it was very interesting as it highlighted the history of Africa's economic development and the huge potential that exists. 

Each chapter focuses on a different sector and the opportunities and challenges that exist in different countries. 

With each chapter, I gained better insight into developments within Africa; for example, I did not know that the Industrial and Commercial Bank of China (ICBC), the largest bank in the world had acquired 20% of Standard Bank in 2007 for $5.5 billion.

There is also a chapter on the making of the African Brand by Doug de Villiers, who is one of Africa's leading brand and reputational experts. I really liked what he said ~ "A government's primary responsibility is to enable citizens and the private sector (through the provision of applicable systems, resources and skills) to perform optimally; and from optimal performance comes a positive reputation. In the BE>DO>SAY formula is the BE. It is a fact that reputation is built on what is done (BE) not what is said (SAY). In talking about African brand issues, we need to look at how to change the reputation building approach from SAY>DO>BE to BE>DO>SAY. 

One of the key lessons which confirmed the route I would consider when the time is right to expand to Africa, is not to try and start something from scratch but to strategically align with local companies. 

There is also a chapter on Making a Noise: Africa's women in business. The chapter ends off with:

"Finding a place in the sun begins with finding the confidence to believe in it, the courage to insist on it and, crucially, the voice to claim it. It is time for the women of Africa to make a noise."

I am ready and looking forward to making a noise!