Etiquette. Know the basic communication rules
/ˈetɪket/ /ˈetɪkət/, /ˈetɪket/
[uncountable] the formal rules of correct or polite behaviour in society,
among members of a particular profession or in a particular area of activity. (Oxford Dictionary)
Etiquette, which boils down to basic manners are
not difficult. It is about forming positive daily habits, which, with enough
practice will become second nature to you, and contribute towards a positive
way of how you are perceived.
Please say ‘please and thank
you.’ Thank you.
Basic manners are so easy, yet
so difficult for some to remember. The basics of the basics is to say please
when you ask for something and say thank you when you receive something. This
is something that was drilled into us (should be have been drilled into us) when we were little, why and where did it
get lost along the way?
Please say ‘please’: some time ago I attended a meeting, the convener of
the meeting was in a flat spin darting off orders here and delegating there
to help get the meeting room set up. During all of her requests for assistance
something struck me, not once during this time was there a ‘please’ in any of
her orders. Yes, you may say that she was under pressure to get everything set
up, however too busy to remember to say please? Seeing that the meeting was
hosted at her house, my personal opinion is that she should have organised the
set up well in advance. But, I do understand and respect that some people have
their own way of doing things. But, regardless of how you decide to organise
things, don’t forget your manners. The whole scenario reminded me of a quote by
Bob Carter, ‘Poor planning on your part does not necessitate an emergency on
mine.”
Personally, I think this person would have had a greater and quicker
response rate from everyone if a ‘please’ was thrown into the mix of their
requests.
Be grateful; a ‘thank you’ can mean a lot. Show gratitude when someone has done
something for you; they have spent their valuable time and resources, often
both, doing something for you. ‘Thank you’ is just as neglected as ‘please’, if
not more.
When you visit someone’s house, you need to say ‘thank you’ for their
hospitality. Saying thank you when you leave is fine, but it needs to be
followed up, at minimum, with some kind of correspondence the next day, be it a
phone call, text or WhatsApp. If you went over and you were offered any form of
nourishment, then a thank you text or call is the right and in fact,
non-negotiable, to do the next day. Speaking of going over to people’s homes,
avoid arriving empty handed. The other person has gone to the trouble of
preparing their place for your visit and allowing you into their sanctuary. It
is just good manners to take something with you and it is a sign of respect for
them and their home. It is then also important to reciprocate that invitation at some point.
The other day I borrowed something from someone (lesson and note to
self, do not borrow things from anyone). To say thank you for the loan of the
item, I baked them a loaf of bread. I had felt very awkward about the whole borrowing
thing, so ended up returning it and went to the local handyman to rent the item
from them instead, which, in hindsight, I should have done from the outset. So,
we live and learn. I neatly wrapped the warm bread in dish towel and popped
over with the thank you gift.
Two weeks later, I had not received a word to say the bread was good,
bad, horrendous, (insert any adjective here), or to be 100% honest, a ‘thank
you’ for the homemade bread. This tickled me, just because this is not how I
was brought up. In my world, when somebody gives you something, you say ‘thank
you’. Yes, in my world you say thank you for a thank you gift (too petty?). I was not able to let it rest, so ended up asking whether the bread was, OK? The response, oh
yes, it was lovely, they were just very busy! Too busy for good manners!? I do
not think so. I do wonder what examples are being set by parents these days.
Clearly receiving things without saying thank you is the norm and
children who see this as the example that is being set will just take it as the
way things are done. There really is something powerful and important when it
comes good old-fashioned manners. Good manners will never go out of fashion.
It is our responsibility to set the example.
On the flip side, I recently received a call from someone thanking me
for a connection that I had made for them. This was totally out of the blue; I had
totally forgotten that I had made the business introduction for them. For them
to pick up the phone and to say thank you, means a lot. Now I know that it was
appreciated and will look for even more opportunities to link that person up
with. There is a great quote by Zig Ziglar: 'The more you are grateful
for what you have the more you will have to be grateful for’.
Would love you hear your thoughts and stories!
