Book review: The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz

This book has been on my reading list for ages! It’s quite a quick read, but incredibly insightful and highly recommendable. I made a copious amount of notes, and realised that if I copied it here, I would basically just be regurgitating the book! There are just so many valuable insights. The agreements are incredibly easy to understand, but less easy to implement. Be impeccable with your word; don’t take things personally; don’t make assumptions; always do your best.

We’re our own worst enemy, we need to forgive and make peace with ourselves.  Our issues with others are a reflection of the issues we have with ourself. We strive for our version of perfection to be accepted by others, and then reject those that don’t live up to our expectations because we can’t accept those flaws in ourselves. It’s tiring!

We pretend what we are not, because we are afraid of being rejected. The fear of being rejected becomes the fear of not being good enough. Eventually we become someone that we are not.

Be impeccable with your word.  I am striving to be a lot more mindful of what I say. Don't take things personally,  this one for me, is a lot easier said than done and I still need a bit of work in this department. Don't make assumptions: so many conflict situations can be avoided through clearer communication and asking more questions. Always do your best.  This reminded me of my Dad that always said that you need to do something right the first time then you won’t need to redo it. This in turn made me think of a quote I saw the other day, ‘if you don’t have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?”

Although it is a quick read, it’s one of those books that you need to read a few times, and each time will teach you something new. 

Protea Palaver

My garden gives me endless pleasure, even when things don’t quite work out as it should. I am still trying to figure out what the lesson(s) were with the following palaver…

Some time ago, my eye fell on an advert for the Botanical Society (BotSoc)’s annual plant fair. But, because of all the COVID protocols it would be an online sale this year. So, you order your plants and pay for it online. You then select a date and time to collect it. After much consideration, I selected two large-ish King Proteas and a Cape Flora Harlequin. Received my receipt and I was super excited about my indigenous plants. So much so, I arrived a week early to collect them! [I blame Mercury Retrograde for this miscalculation 😊]

A week later (yesterday, Sunday), I double, triple checked my receipt to confirm the pick up date and time. On arrival, I saw that all the plants were neatly laid out per order, labelled with each customer’s name, ready for collection. I was getting super excited! I shared my surname and order number and tried to see if I could spot my name or plants so long. There was a lot of flapping of papers on the organiser’s clipboard, which was not exactly the sound I wanted to hear…After a couple of confirmations of my name, order and order number not much was happening except more flapping of papers…and then the lady disappeared. Walking through the neatly packed rows of plants, no sign of my Proteas or Harlequin…

Looong story, which can no longer be shortened, after quite some time second clipboard holding BotSoc fellow appeared with the piece of paper with my order on, now riddled with red pen…he let me know that the farmer had not delivered everything that needed to be delivered… no Harlequins, and not the Protea sizes that I had ordered. When I asked whether I could then perhaps just substitute my purchase with other plants, it was unfortunately not an option as there were no extra plants available. They would have to go through the rigmarole of reimbursing me. Had they had other plants as a backup, I would gladly have taken them, win-win all around, they would have made a sale and not have to reimburse anyone and my garden would have had a few additional indigenous pieces. Alas, it is what it is, and was not meant to be. I was getting rather fed up, so just wanted to get my plants and go.

I’m not sure if I accidentally burst out laughing (I hope not!) when I saw clipboard guy carrying my plants out, he did say that the sizes weren’t what I had ordered…but, clearly it had not registered in my head yet. All I can do is laugh and enjoy these two petite Proteas!

So, there is always a lesson somewhere. I have been mulling on the whole situation and struggling to find one here, but this is my take on it…

As with pretty much all annoying situations, communication, or rather the lack thereof was at the heart of the drama. Had the farmer told BotSoc that he didn’t have enough plants, they could have made a plan, which in turn could have been communicated to their customers… But airing views and opinions from the side are always very easy. 

My other take home here is to see the beauty in everything. My two Proteas are not exactly what I thought I was getting, but they are perfect, and they make me so happy every time I look at them.  Joy is all around us, we just need to want to spot it. 

My lovely petite Proteas, tennis ball included to give perspective of size