Wednesday, 15 December 2021

Audiobook: Ikigai The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life by Héctor García and Francesc Miralles

This short audiobook (3hours 15 minutes) has some incredibly valuable insights. 

Ikigai is a Japanese concept referring to something that gives a person a sense of purpose, a reason for living; it's also about the art of living.

Here are some of the notes that I made: 

An active mind = youthful body.

Happiness depends on:

  • You should only eat until you are 80% full (much easier said than done!)
  • The relationships that you have with those around you
  • The relationships with your family
  • Having a purpose in life

Routine stagnates, do things in a new way, the brain will create new neural paths. Expose yourself to change.

Stress leads to premature aging.

If you keep your fingers working, 100 years will come to you.

Logotherapy (a scientifically based school of psychotherapy, is based on the belief that the search for meaning even amidst misery can constitute a potential solution to human suffering. Meaning can be found by creating a work, loving someone, or adopting a modified attitude toward inevitable suffering.) Victor Frankl would ask his patients “Why do you not commit suicide?” when they first come to see him. This helps them to identify a reason to live. [This does feel quite extreme! But, if it helps someone to find their purpose, and it worked for Victor Frankl, who am I to argue]. .

“Everything can be taken from you except your attitude” 

~ Victor Frankl ~ 

Morita therapy says: we can’t control our emotions, but we can control our actions.

Food is the least important thing, food won't let you live longer, the secret is smiling and having a good time.

'The grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for

George Washington Burnap ~

Do many different things each day, stay busy but doing one thing at a time without getting overwhelmed.

I like the idea and suggestion of having 'good riddance goals'.

There is no perfect strategy to connect with our Ikigai. Life is not a problem that needs to be solved.

Keep busy with things you love doing surrounded by people that love you

  1. Stay active, don't retire
  2. Take it slow, being in a hurry is in proportion to quality of life. Walk slowly and you will go far. Leave urgency behind.  
  3. Don't fill your stomach. 
  4. Surround yourself with good friends. Friends are the best medicine.
  5. Stay in shape. Get fit for your next birthday.  
  6. Smile. A cheerful attitude is not only relaxing helps you make friends. 
  7. Connect with nature
  8. Give thanks
  9. Live in the moment. Stop fearing the future and regretting the past. Today is all you have. Make the most of it. Make it worth remembering
  10. Follow your Ikigai 

Highly recommendable 5/5

Tuesday, 16 November 2021

Opinion piece: How Oscar Pistorius should reinvent his image



Last week I was asked the question ..."I'm asking a bunch of reputation managers and PR firms what they would recommend to Pistorius if he came to them as a client looking to reinvent his image after prison. Is there any potential rehabilitation for him in the public eye?"

Interesting question. 

Here is what I shared with Rebecca Davis on the subject:

How Oscar Pistorius should reinvent his image

Rebuilding trust is going to be Oscar Pistorius’ biggest challenge, and I fear the prognosis for rebuilding this specific value is very slim to zero. 

There are many case studies of sports stars who have fallen from grace and then managed to rebuild their personal reputation or are in the process of doing so. Think of Tiger Woods and Lance Armstrong. 

The biggest difference though, is that no life was lost in their instances, they were not convicted of murder; something which will now and for always be associated with Pistorius.

But, everything happens for a reason, and there is a lesson and opportunity to do good in absolutely every situation. Pistorius has always been in the public eye and it’s an opportunity for him to use the media to spread a message of forgiveness and compassion*. 

He should focus on winning back the hearts of the nation and world. Just please don’t jump onto the ‘charity’ bandwagon. Too often we see people and businesses that have fallen from grace launch or support a charity of some sort. It’s sadly, purely done for publicity and marketing purposes, to try and ‘spin’ away from a real issue and elephant in the room. With that said, I am sure the advice he is getting is to launch a charity / foundation / non-profit of some sort to leverage off of. This may work to some extent, but it is important that it is done for the right reasons. 
If he does consider this route, then Reputation Matters’ Repudometer® building blocks will give him a roadmap of what to consider:
  • Management: Have a clearly defined vision of what you want to achieve with the charity and well-defined values that will drive decisions and behaviours.
  • Human Capital: Have the right team to do the right work in the right way
  • Performance: Where the funds generated are going needs to be very clear and transparent. It’s also important to articulate the ‘unique selling proposition’ (USP), what is going to make this charity unique; why will people want to spend their hard-earned cash on this charity instead of all the others that exist?
  • Positioning: Get key strategic alliances (partners) who resonate with the values of the charity on board.
  • Dialogue: It’s very important that the communication is driven by authenticity and not ‘spin’. Part of this element is making sure that the key messages are communicated timeously to the right stakeholders using the most appropriate channels of communication and making sure that there are feedback mechanisms in place. 

[*Side note, I thought that he should perhaps consider look at building a Fraternity of Forgiveness.]

###

Here is the full Daily Maverick article: Will Oscar Pistorius get parole? (dailymaverick.co.za)

DM168

REEVA STEENKAMP MURDER

What does the future hold for convicted murderer Oscar Pistorius after talk of parole eligibility?

 South African Paralympic athlete Oscar Pistorius appears in the Pretoria Magistrates' Court over the killing of his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp in Pretoria, South Africa, on 19 August 2013. (Photo: EPA-EFE / STR)
By Rebecca Davis
13 Nov 2021  4

The convicted murderer is now eligible for parole, after serving more than half his sentence in prison. But what could the future possibly hold for the golden-boy athlete who fell from grace so spectacularly?peechKit

‘These questions are irrelevant as inmate Oscar Pistorius has not been considered for parole placement.”

With these words, the clearly irritated Department of Correctional Services spokesperson, Singabakho Nxumalo, dismissed DM168’s queries about the potential parole of Pistorius. The reason for his annoyance was not hard to guess: since News24 reported last week that Pistorius was eligible for parole much earlier than anyone had guessed, the department has been bombarded by local and international media demanding clarity on the matter.

It is a telling indication that the passage of almost seven years since Pistorius was first convicted of murder has not dimmed the world’s interest in the former Paralympic star.

Nxumalo was engaging in a bit of a game of semantics. The parole process for Pistorius may not yet have formally begun, but there are indications that preparations are being made. Barry and June Steenkamp, the parents of Pistorius’s victim, Reeva Steenkamp, had been asked to ready themselves to meet with the athlete ahead of a possible parole hearing in October. That has now been cancelled in confusing circumstances, but it has been confirmed that Pistorius has been technically eligible for parole since July.

It was originally calculated that the inmate would only come up for parole in 2023, but it has now emerged that this failed to take into account the time already served in jail – 503 days – by the time the Supreme Court of Appeal handed Pistorius an extended sentence of 13 years and five months in 2017.

The Blade Runner, in other words, could be walking out of prison any day now. That is, of course, after the parole process is undertaken. The parole board will consider various factors, including where Pistorius would live while on parole, and will also hear input from affected parties like the Steenkamps.

Criminal lawyer Ulrich Roux told DM168 that the usual conditions for parolees would apply to Pistorius if parole is granted. These include having to check in with the Community Corrections Office regularly, potentially carrying out some form of community service, and being confined to home if not at work. It is also likely that he would be prohibited from drinking alcohol.

The athlete’s uncle, Arnold Pistorius, who supported him throughout his 2014 trial, has told You magazine that Oscar would return to live with Arnold and his wife Lois in Pretoria. The family lives in a palatial triple-storey converted rectory in the upmarket suburb of Waterkloof, which is where Pistorius stayed during the trial. Absent will be Pistorius’s siblings, who have since moved overseas: sister Aimée now works in finance in London, and brother Carl is pursuing business interests in Houston, Texas.

Life in general appears far more prosperous for the Pistorius family than the Steenkamps. You reports that the bar and restaurant Barry and June Steenkamp owned in Gqeberha, the Barking Spider, has closed as a result of the financial toll inflicted by the Covid-19 lockdown.

Pistorius’s family has indicated that it is unlikely that Oscar will return to professional athletics. “Sprinters don’t come back if they haven’t participated for 10 years,” Arnold Pistorius told You.

Pistorius would not have been able to do any meaningful training in prison. One of the few glimpses of his life behind bars, offered by an interview with one of his prison visitors in the 2020 documentary The Trials of Oscar Pistorius, produced the news that Oscar had taken up smoking in jail – suggesting that he has not been preparing for a return to athletic form.

With his sponsors having speedily deserted him within weeks of the shooting of Reeva Steenkamp in 2013, it is highly unlikely that Pistorius would be able to attract high-profile brands to work with him again. Over 2011 and 2012, he trained in the northern Italian town of Gemona after signing an agreement to do so. Gemona was quick to cancel the contract with Pistorius after he was accused of murder.

When it comes to re-cultivating his international ties, a bigger problem for Pistorius will be his limited ability to travel. Many countries prohibit the granting of visas or entrance to convicted felons, particularly for as serious a crime as murder. Those who have served more than three years of jail time are likely to be refused entry to Europe’s Schengen Zone, meaning that Italy is probably out of the question. Crimes involving “moral turpitude” – of which murder is assuredly one – prohibit one’s entry to the US and Canada.

Famously, American celebrity homemaker Martha Stewart was banned entry to the UK in 2008 after serving just five months in prison for obstructing justice in 2004. At the time, a representative of the British Borders Agency said: “We continue to oppose the entry to the UK of individuals where we believe their presence in the United Kingdom is not conducive to the public good or where they have been found guilty of serious criminal offenses abroad.” There is no indication that the stance has changed since.

Rebuilding trust is going to be Oscar Pistorius’s biggest challenge, and I fear the prognosis for rebuilding this specific value is very slim to zero.

One country that may be more forgiving is Mozambique. Arnold Pistorius owns tens of thousands of hectares of land along the Mozambican border, under the company Twin City, which also has an office in Maputo. In 2013, when Oscar was awaiting trial, his family petitioned the court to allow him to travel to Mozambique to allow him to hide out on the family farm and avoid the media spotlight. This would not initially be an option for the athlete, because parole conditions would involve surrendering his passport, but it’s a safe bet that Mozambique may feature in his future.

Some have speculated that Pistorius’s next move might involve the publication of a remorseful book reiterating his claim that he did not know Reeva Steenkamp was behind the bathroom door he blasted through on Valentine’s Day 2013, and giving an empathy-inducing account of his time in prison. This would be impossible in countries such as the UK and the USA, Roux explained to DM168, where legislation exists to prevent convicted criminals from profiting from the publicity of their crimes – through the publication of a book, for instance, or a speaking tour.

“In South Africa, there is no law currently that I have been able to locate which makes similar provision to prevent the profiting from a crime,” Roux said. “As such, a person convicted of an offence will not be prohibited from writing a book or memoir in the current legislative sphere.”

Pistorius’s major problem, however, will be a largely unforgiving public. Even his own uncle predicted, at the end of The Trials of Oscar Pistorius, that public perceptions of Oscar can “never be fixed”. As soon as Pistorius was arrested, high-profile PR firm Vuma Reputation Management was contracted to try to mitigate the fallout. Post-prison, will there be a similar attempt to professionally massage his reputation?

Rachel Irvine, CEO of Cape Town-based PR firm Irvine Partners, told DM168: “Irvine Partners would decline to represent Mr Pistorius and I believe that would be true of most reputable public relations firms in South Africa”. (This may not be accurate: DM168 asked six well-known PR firms for comment and only two assented, suggesting that the other four might be holding out in case of an impending Pistorius contract.)

“Rebuilding trust is going to be Oscar Pistorius’s biggest challenge, and I fear the prognosis for rebuilding this specific value is very slim to zero,” Regine le Roux, managing director at Reputation Matters, told DM168. Le Roux acknowledged that other sports stars embroiled in scandal had successfully rebuilt reputations, such as golfer Tiger Woods and Lance Armstrong, but said she believed Pistorius’s chances were much lower because of his association with murder.

“I am sure the advice he is getting is to launch a charity or foundation or non-profit of some sort to leverage off,” Le Roux said. “This may work to some extent, but it is important that it is done for the right reasons.”

A similar cautionary note was struck by Irvine. “Should he wish to rehabilitate his public image, my advice to him would be to live an authentic life of good works and community service without cameras being on hand to record his actions,” she said.

“While granting parole implies that his debt to society has been paid, his debt to Reeva Steenkamp’s family can never be repaid. Given that, any courting of the media spotlight post-release would be in extremely poor taste.” DM168

This story first appeared in our weekly Daily Maverick 168 newspaper which is available for R25 at Pick n Pay, Exclusive Books and airport bookstores. For your nearest stockist, please click here.




Thursday, 28 October 2021

Book: Up the Organisation, Robert Townsend


Even though this book was published in 1970, there are many interesting and valuable tidbits of business advice. Robert Townsend was the chairperson and president of Avis-Rent-a-Car and grew it into one of the largest rental car companies. 

It's a fairly quick read. The three pieces of advice that I think of immediately when I think of his advice: 

1. Reporting: Sadly in 1970 the use of reports was already a useless exercise. Personally, I am also of the opinion that reports are way too often generated just for the sake of it.  Many hours goes into writing a report, just to never ever be looked at again. We see a lot more success with presenting our results in a format that is reused at board level to make decisions.  

2. Objectives: ..."I used to keep a sign opposite my desk where I couldn't miss it if I were on the telephone (about to make an appointment) or in a meeting in my office: "Is what I'm doing or about to do getting us closer to our objective?" That sign saved me from a lot of useless trips, lunch dates , conferences, junkets and meetings. 

3. Thanks ~ A really neglected form of compensation. 

Recommendable 4/5

Tuesday, 26 October 2021

Audiobook: Bad Blood, John Carreyrou



An absolutely thrilling book! Must admit that I had absolutely no idea what it was about, but I saw that Bill Gates found it gripping, so thought, let’s see what this is about…

It’s the story of a tech start up company based in Silicon Valley, Theranos, headed up by Elizabeth Holmes. Young, dynamic and one of the youngest and first female tech start ups. All the marks of an inspirational, success story, only it really isn’t.

She managed to manipulate and dupe many investors and employees. Her idea, incredible. With a pin prick blood sample, the idea was to do a multitude of blood tests on their technology. Ultimately to develop something small enough for people to use at home. The problem was that this is pretty much impossible with just a small blood sample. The other problem was going to market much too soon and not listening to sound advice from the teams that were employed.   

This is a prime example of a leadership team that has gone rogue. What is surprising is that this is a fairly recent story, in fact her court case is on the go at the moment.

How did they manage to swindle so many people? I think it boils down to questionable, or to be more specific, non-existent, governance structures on many levels.

Highly recommendable. 


Sunday, 17 October 2021

Thank you!


A heartfelt thank you to everyone who participated in, and helped us to gauge our reputation score for 2021! It gives me great pleasure to share that as your reputation research company of choice, we scored a Repudometer® score of 91%! This is six percent higher than last year!

It’s important to walk the talk to ensure that we deliver excellence always, in all ways.

I am humbled and incredibly grateful for the tremendous response that we received. There were 149 people that took the time to share their views, thoughts and insights into Reputation Matters. Our main goal is to quantify value. Your opinion is helping us to refine our service offering even further to add even more value going forward.

One of our highest scoring elements was: Operational Governance (94%), which refers to ‘the way that we do things around here.’ Consistency is key when it comes to building reputations. Being consistently good, will build a positive reputation. The contrary is also true, being consistently inconsistent has the opposite impact. We have worked very hard to refine our systems to make the research process as painless and as streamlined as possible.

Our clients often tell us that they can’t believe how smoothly the whole research process has gone at the end of a project, which has been confirmed by this high score for Operational Governance.

We scored equally as high with our Human Capital (94%) element. I am incredibly grateful for the extremely talented team that I get to work with every day. Your Reputation Matters team who measures and manages your reputation has been handpicked. Apart from being award winning and the top of their respective classes, they have extensive industry experience.

Impacting our overall score ever so slightly, (but still scoring very high), was our Strategic Alliances (87%). Strategic alliances are the people and businesses that we surround ourselves with and collaborate with on project. We’ll make sure to share more information of who our strategic alliances and collaborations are going forward.

Our Corporate Social Responsibility (88%) is the other element that you would like more information on. I’m not too surprised that this element scored slightly lower. It has been a bit quieter on this front. With the lockdown, our Awesome AfriCAN initiative with computer training came to a halt as a result of not being able to facilitate any classroom-based training. Lockdown did however bring with it another opportunity. I wanted to find a project that wasn’t reliant on technology or required classroom-based support. Re.Bag.Re.Use was born earlier this year. Ladies in the Hangberg and Imizamo Yetho communities in Hout Bay have been taught how to repurpose empty bread bags into shopping bags.


From left to right: Jane Hoffman, Susan Mouton, Maureen Plaatjies, Setta Adams and me. These are some of the Re.Bag.Re.Use ladies. Photo credit:  @JayCaboz [Here’s a wonderful article is Billionaire Tomorrow]

From left to right: Maureen Plaatjies, Setta Adams, Mary Sambou, Tapiwa and Margaret Nyika. More Re.Bag.Re.Use ladies.  

Walking our talk and doing our own research once again proved to be a valuable exercise. This allows us to refine our research processes even more and pinpoint any areas that may need some attention.

Thank you for your candid feedback! Now the ball is in our court, we will use these results to ensure that we continue to be consistent in the way we deliver our value to you.

We will strive for excellence always, in all ways!

If you would also like to know what your Repudometer® score is, get in touch. Pop us an email: research@reputationmatters.co.za

Thank you again for your interest and support!

Regine

Thursday, 14 October 2021

Book: Let my people go surfing, The Education of a Reluctant Businessman, Yvon Chouinard


An absolutely marvelous read of how being an environmentally responsible business is absolutely possible; it takes corporate social responsibility to the next level. The book follows the start, growth and philosophy of outdoor wear company, Patagonia, and illustrates how business could, and in fact, should be done to put the environment first. 

It’s fascinating how Yvon Chouinard, a reluctant businessman has taken Patagonia from strength to strength finding solutions with the least environmental impact. One percent of all of their sales, regardless of whether they make a profit or not, gets allocated to environmental activism programs.

Love this very apt quote about being an entrepreneur:

'If you want to understand the entrepreneur, study the juvenile delinquent.

This one also really resonated: ”you can’t wait until you have all the answers before you act”.

One of the key things that I have learnt about reputation management, is the importance of having clearly defined values that need to be top of mind (it does not help having beautiful posters around the office with random values written on them, but no one knows what the company's values are). I was thrilled when I read Yvon Chouinard's take on it too:

Living the values and knowing the philosophy of each part of the company aligns us all in a common direction, promotes efficiency, and avoids the chaos that comes from poor communication.

Synchronicity fascinates me. They say a book crosses your path when you are ready for it. There was a key message in it for me, just when I needed to hear it.

Not so long ago, as I was ready to go out, my neighbour said to me that my jacket looked like I had bought it from the local charity shop. He was 100% correct; finding treasures at charity shops is one of my favourite hobbies. But, being told that I looked like I shop at a charity shop is not exactly the greatest compliment or look that I was going for.

Not long after this incident, Yvon Chouinard’s words comforted me, “Buying used clothing and wearing it as long as possible is the most responsible thing you can do.” 

Yvon Chouinard’s comparison of climbing mountains with business and life is also fascinating. “Many people don’t understand that how you climb a mountain is more important than reaching the top. You can solo climb Everest put ladders across crevasses, lay in six thousand feet of fixed ropes, and have one Sherpa pulling and one pushing you. You just dial in ’10,000 fee’ on your oxygen bottle and up you go.

Typical high-powered, rich plastic surgeons and CEOs who attempt to climb Everest this way are so fixated on the target, the summit, that they compromise on the process. The goal of climbing big, dangerous mountains should be to attain some sort of spiritual and personal growth, but this won’t happen if you compromise away the entire process.

I also found his take on crisis very interesting:

Just as doing risk sports will create stresses that lead to a bettering of oneself, so should a company constantly stress itself in order to grow. Our company has always done its best work whenever we’ve had a crisis. I’ve never been so proud of our employees as in 1994, when the entire company was mobilized to change over from using traditional cotton to organic grown by 1996. It was a crisis that led to writing down our philosophies. When there is no crisis, the wise leader or CEO will invent one. Not by crying wolf but by challenging the employees with change.

You might think that a nomadic society packs up and moves when things get bad. However, a wise leader knows that you also move when everything is going too well; everyone is laid-back, lazy and happy. If you don’t move now, then you may not be able to move when the real crisis happens. Teddy Roosevelt said, “In pleasant peace and security, how quickly the soul in a man begins to die.” And Bob Dylan says, “He not busy being born is busy dying.

 Something else incredibly interesting:

…a study done of the most successful CEOs in America (not the celebrity CEOs, but those, without fanfare and jumping jobs every few years, get the work done), found one factor they all have in common. They enjoy working with their hands. The older ones had cars that they worked…or had woodshops. [I must admit when I read this, it did give me nod of approval for all the crocheting I’ve been doing and for the Re.Bag.Re.Use initiative.]

"Looking for somewhere to start? Go plant a tree. Only an optimist would that," Amy Kumler.

It seems to me if there is an answer, it lies in these words: restraint, quality and simplicity. We have to get away from thinking that all growth is good. There’ a big difference between growing fatter and growing stronger.

Wonderful final thought:

I believe the way toward mastery of any endeavour is to work toward simplicity; replace complex technology with knowledge. The more you know, the less you need. From my feeble attempts at simplifying my own life I've learned enough to know that should we have to, or choose to, live more simply, it won’t be an impoverished life but one richer in all the ways that really matter.

A highly recommendable read.

 


Tuesday, 28 September 2021

Audiobook: Grit, The Power of Passion and Perseverance, Angela DuckworthGrit

If I had read this book before Darren Hardy’s, The Compound Effect or James Clear’s Atomic Habits, I may have enjoyed it much more.

Towards the end I felt that I needed grit to finish it. One thing that I know about myself is that I do enjoy starting projects, but I don’t always have the grit to finish it, I lose interest very quickly. But, with that said, it does depend on the project and challenge I’m faced with.

“...there are no shortcuts to excellence. Developing real expertise, figuring out really hard problems, it all takes timelonger than most people imagine....you've got to apply those skills and produce goods or services that are valuable to people....Grit is about working on something you care about so much that you're willing to stay loyal to it...it's doing what you love, but not just falling in lovestaying in love.”

This relates to what James Clear also said, you need to fall in love with boredom, doing the same thing over and over. 

Personally I found the the animal experiments horrendous. 

Rather read The Compound Effect or Atomic Habits. 

3/5

Wednesday, 1 September 2021

Re.Bag.Re.Use your bags ~ putting bread on the table with empty bread bags


Empty bread plastic bags, two litre milk bottle labels and courier bags are just some of the plastic that has been repurposed into creating these delightfully bright and beautiful shopping bags.

Lockdown forced many of us to haul out and dust off our hobbies. ‘Mine, was my crochet pen,’ shares Regine le Roux brainchild behind the Re.Bag.Re.Use initiative. ‘During this time I realised just how much plastic was being generated and thrown away every day, so I decided to find a way to repurpose it. Crocheting with plastic worked!’

I have taught six ladies from the Harbour and Imizamo Yetho, in Hout Bay, how to transform empty bread bags into these magnificent shopping bags. It takes approximately 30 empty bread bags, and eight hours to complete one bag. There are also two ladies who cut the plastic bags into strips for us to crochet with.

When a ReBag.ReUse bag is purchased, not only is it keeping plastic from going to the landfill, it is also investing into the empowerment of the local community and charities. The sales from the bags are used to pay a stipend to the crocheters, the cutters and a percentage also goes to a local charity.

Recently a lady bought nine bags that were taken to the United States as gifts! We’re absolutely thrilled that these bags are now ‘international’!

We are incredibly grateful for the support from everyone in Hout Bay. The local haberdashery Fiddlesticks have kindly offered to be a drop off point for the plastic bags.


Maureen (in the photo above) is one of the ladies I taught how to crochet using the empty plastic bags. This is her first bag that she crocheted from empty bread bags and plastic wrapping!



Setta Adams (photo above), who is one of the ladies that cuts the plastic says, “It has definitely been a help to my household to be part of this initiative. I have been unemployed for the last three years and this opportunity to cut the bags really made a great difference with the day to day needs. Thank you.”



“For me a grandmother of a grade 12  and a grade 7 with only the help of my disability and one child grant this is really a help for me,” shares Jane Hoffman, one of the crocheting ladies. “I cannot explain in words how thankful I am for Maureen introducing me to Regine that taught us to crochet with bread bags and other plastic this is so awesome for me. It’s not just an extra income but also a stress reliever in this pandemic.”     


Phenomenal Re.Bag.Re.Use ladies

We've received some lovely media coverage, that we are incredibly grateful for:


The Cape Times

Die Burger


Expresso! Here's the link to the interview:  https://lnkd.in/gTFpq6dE



The Sentinel 

Please follow us on: Instagram:

www.instagram.com/re.bag.re.use and www.facebook.com/re.bag.re.use.re.cycle 

For more information, WhatsApp 083 302 1528

###

Monday, 30 August 2021

Feedback on feedback

 

Photo via https://unsplash.com/photos/V5vqWC9gyEU

The other day someone gave me feedback on a radio interview that I had conducted. It was brutal.

It’s undeniable, feedback is crucial. As Bill Gates says, “We all need people who will give us feedback. That's how we improve.”

What is important is the manner in which you give and receive feedback. I was crushed when I first read it. It’s not my intention, and it most certainly won’t help me, if I just surrounded myself with people who only provided positive feedback. There would be absolutely no growth and improvement in that.

But, feedback should not be so severe that the person feels totally deflated; it should inspire them to find ways to do things better. Especially if it's unsolicited feedback. 

When I was part of Toastmasters many years ago, I learnt about the ‘sandwich’ technique of giving feedback; you start off with something positive, then something constructive followed by positive reinforcement to end off with so that it’s not all too negative or too positive. It also helps the person giving the feedback to seek out positive and/or constructive feedback if their feedback errs on the side of being too positive or negative. Ending with something positive also helps to reduce anxiety for the recipient.

This whole experience made me re-realise the importance of being kind. Whether giving or receiving feedback.

Being on the receiving end, I was tempted to jump on my high horse and try and justify every line item of criticism (the list was long). I was very tempted to also send this person scathing feedback on their feedback skills.

I did a bit of research on the sandwich technique and the Harvard Business Review says that this technique undermines your feedback, Forbes magazine does not recommend it either. It is however, my opinion, that feedback should not all just be negative, and criticism of a person. It needs to be constructive and balanced with positive sentiments.

But, I decided against retorting, so, just thanked them for their time and later worked through each line item. The feedback was valuable and I do appreciate the time they took to give it. I do however reckon that I would have been more inclined to work through their feedback sooner and take it to heart if it was marginally kinder.

I do still feel that I should give them feedback on their feedback skills. 

It was a good lesson to be more mindful of my own actions and feedback. 

When you do give feedback, is it genuinely to help the other person, or, is it to make yourself feel superior because you have a grudge to bear? Instead of giving feedback for the sake of feedback, take a few minutes to get your thoughts in place and decide what you truly want to achieve. Be mindful of how it may be interpreted and received. 

What do you think? To sandwich or not to sandwich when giving feedback?

Thursday, 26 August 2021

Audiobook review: Atomic Habits, James Clear

 


It’s an easy audio to listen to, and I worked through it relatively quickly. The concepts discussed are very similar to Darren Hardy’s, The Compound Effect. It was a good refresher.

James Clear very accurately shares that it’s not goals that are the problem, everyone has goals, e.g. each and every Olympian has a goal to win. What sets you apart is the system to achieve that goal. I’m pretty obsessed with ‘step by step’ documents and ticking things off a list, so his way of thinking about success definitely resonated with me.

The way that we articulate things also has a big impact on success. For example, instead of saying that you are on a diet, rather change your mindset to a thin person, in other words, ask yourself, “What would a thin person do?”.

Habits need to be obvious, attractive, easy and satisfying.

We need to make it easier to form habits, e.g. to eat healthier, don’t put the apples in the bottom drawer of the fridge, put them in a bowl on a table so that it’s easy to get to them.

Habit + deliberate practice = mastery 

Professionals stick to a schedule; amateurs let life get in the way.

One of the key lessons from the book was that you need to fall in love with boredom; be endlessly fascinated by doing the same thing over and over. This is a massive stumbling block for me as I get very easily bored with things. I have learnt that I love starting things, but seeing things through to the end are incredibly challenging. But, I do find that when I put checklists in place to tick off each day, then that definitely helps to reach a goal.

Highly recommendable book.

 

 


Wednesday, 25 August 2021

“Nice” is not so ‘nice’

 


“Nice”. Whenever I hear the word ‘nice’, I am immediately transported back to my Standard Three (Grade 5) class at Arcadia Primary in Pretoria, with Mrs Kramer sharing her (sometimes quite violent) disdain for the word ‘nice’.

‘Nice’ is not a word that you included in your essays or speeches unless you were up for humiliation in front of the whole class. Oh, the terror of it! This did force you to quickly learn better adjectives when describing anything.

The other day while watching a show where people were investing a ton of money into their dream home, I was flabbergasted at the frequency they were using the word ‘nice’ to describe some of the most impressive spaces imaginable. ‘Oh, that’s a nice… kitchen, garden, bedroom <insert any space>…’, it was incredibly irritating, and rather disappointing that these remarkable spaces were being reduced to a ‘nice’. All I was thinking every time I heard them gushing about how ‘nice’ the place was, was ‘read a book!” and appreciating Mrs Kramer’s violent tendencies towards the word more and more.

But! Since seeing the program and being mindful of just how judgemental I had become, I realised with much shock and horror, how often I was using the word! It is just so true, the things that irritate you about others, is more often than not what irritates you most about yourself. Every time I now hear myself or anyone else saying ‘nice’, it’s as if an alarm goes off in my head, and quite honestly, I am sure that I see red! Pretty much what I imagine Mrs Kramer saw all those years ago.  

It’s such a lazy word. Every time I hear it or hear myself saying it I just think to myself, ‘Read more!’, that is one of the sure fire ways to help expand your vocabulary.

At Reputation Matters my team is encouraged to read at least one book a month. Believing in leading by example it’s my personal aim to read at least two books a month.  (Although, with that said I clearly need to read considerably more if I want to reduce the amount of times I say 'nice'. 'Like' and 'Absolutely' are right up there with the words that I use far too often).

Vocabulary impacts your success. As Jim Rohn, American entrepreneur, author and motivational speaker, so aptly says, "Vocabulary enables us to interpret and to express. If you have a limited vocabulary, you will also have a limited vision and a limited future." He adds, “Don’t just read the easy stuff. You may be entertained by it, but you will never grow from it."

Start focussing on how many people use the word ‘nice’, and you’ll quickly realise just how often it is (over)used, and hopefully it will also start irritating you just as much. 

What is the one word that you think is overused and needs an immediate replacement?

#launguage #nice #nicenotnice 

Tuesday, 3 August 2021

Audiobook review: Never split the difference, Chris Voss



Thoroughly enjoyed this audiobook. The content is simple, yet not always that easy do to. I want to listen to it again as there’s a lot of valuable tips and insights.

Chris Voss is a former FBI Hostage negotiator. Every chapter starts off with a hostage drama. He then gives examples of how to use these skills in the business world.

I particularly liked his explanation of ‘tactical empathy’. This is the deliberate influencing of your negotiating counterpart’s emotions for the ultimate purpose of building trust-based influence and securing deals.

As he explains, we need to get over our fear of negotiating. Everything in life is a negotiation; it’s about asking in the right way. You get what you ask for, but, you have to ask for it in the right way. Negotiation is communication with results. Never be needy for a deal.

Here are seven tips from Chris Voss via Masterclass.com

1. Show the other side that you are negotiating in good faith. The idea is to demonstrate that you are not here to deceive or exploit the other side—sometimes showing deference can be key.

2. Be genuinely interested in what drives the other side. Understanding their goals, motivations, wants, and fears will help you navigate the negotiation effectively. An authentic connection with your negotiating partner will help lead to an optimal outcome for both parties.

3. Take emotions into consideration. Negotiators used to assume that eliminating emotion from the process would create the most logical (i.e., best) outcome. But what we understand now through neurological research is that there is no way to cut people’s feelings out of the process. Nor is it desirable to do so. In reality, suppressing emotions—specifically negative emotions—will hurt the process.

4. Build trust-based influence through the use of tactical empathy. By appealing to your counterpart’s emotions, you can build rapport, mutual understanding, influence, and—ultimately—deals.

5. Work to deactivate negative feelings. Fear, suspicion, anger, aggression, and distrust will impede the negotiation. From a neurological standpoint, this means you should work to defuse activity in the amygdala, the part of the brain that houses those feelings. Watch for body language that indicates negative feelings, and, when you notice it, focus again on using tactical empathy.

6. Aim to magnify positive emotions. People are actually smarter when they’re in a positive frame of mind. Building trust, comfort, and rapport will help you accomplish your goals. It will also benefit you to abandon the whole notion that “they’re crazy.” Know that the other side has a rationale, motivations, and some strong feelings for wanting what they want—even though their goals may be diametrically opposed to yours.

7. Keep an eye out for black swans. Another crucial element in negotiation is the existence of black swans—those seemingly innocuous pieces of information that, once revealed, can change the entire negotiation process. Imagine this: You’re a vendor, and you’re sitting across the table from the executives at a company that has been failing to pay you for your goods and services in full and on time. As you press for an ironclad payment schedule, your knowledge that the company posted record profits last quarter—aka your black swan—could boost your position immensely. It’s much harder to defend late payments when everyone at the table is aware that business is booming.

Highly recommendable book.